it was about 2 years ago
i wrote an article with a same title “lost in shanghai” in my blog
the blog with a blue background and i called it “heatherm in shanghai”
it recorded what was going on with me after i got the english name “heatherm” from prof.lim
however i just cannot remember what i wrote in the article
everything on my blog was gone because of the “17th CPC National Congress”
that’s funny?
it’s a shit luck month for me
i lost my purse, my cellphone, my motorbike, my money, the camrea that i borrow
and my ture heart
i forgot why i lost in shanghai two years ago
maybe something about my disappointment of shanghai?
about my new outlook on life that i just cannot accept?
about my confused future and forgot what’s and where’s my dream?
why i was here?
i am here for what?
for my dream? my future? my expricence? my love? my career?
i don’t know
yes, i am trying to escape reality
to freak out the dirty and snobbery actual life
heatherm lost in shanghai
i even don’t know how does adobe contribute work?
something like windows live writer?
it’s just a blog client with professional user interface which created by adobe?
let me try.
haha, i am now writing with adobe contribute.
it’s much more clear and professional than the microsoft one.
however, does it work?
so, where’s the publish buttom?
—–
after published….
the tags function on my blog cannot work well with it.
and it breaks my page layout when i writing.
windows live writer next time.
也许是自己太过沉浸与自己的世界了，只要有一点和我想要的不一样，我就会难受。
为什么不能完美呢？
明明很简单就可以啊。。。很简单很简单就可以。。。
一次又一次的感受到我的心在隐隐发痛，好痛好痛，好酸。好酸。
忍不住的痛，忍不住的流泪。
我的心，真的没有办法呵护它，不让它再受一点哪怕很小的一点的 痛 不行吗？
我害怕 害怕自己
会因为怕更大的痛 而 离开
真的很害怕。所以我拼命争取着自己应得的。
喜欢做小女人的感觉，跟在你身后的感觉。那样的你可以保护我，呵护我。那样的时候真的很幸福很幸福。
就算我做错了也能站在我这边，支持着我，为了我和别人争论。
我知道自己很无理取闹，很作，可是我同样很爱你。
我相信爱我的人是会包容我的一切的，包括我所有的缺点。
我还是相信着爱，相信着世界上存在着爱。可是好迷茫，真的好迷茫。
我们那么辛苦经营起来的爱，是被我捧在手心的爱。
我不舍得它有任何的瑕疵。
回去的时候摔了角
好疼。。。
今天去学校吧东西都搬过去了，当然你也来了，本来以为可以提我分担掉些。
可是我好像错了。
好累，一直没坐下的机会。
我和不喜欢 那样的你，西洋怪气的，半死不活的，那样我好累。
我需要被你保护 可是你老是不是这里不舒服就是那里不舒服的，我真的好不喜欢！
我也会不舒服啊，可大多时候都不说。
好累。。。
你能坚强点吗？你是男人，你需要保护我！！！！
